To landlubbers who are unaware of the global cruising community, the Crafton family’s circumnavigation seemed so audacious a thing to attempt, that it must be singular, so unfamiliar, it must [...]]]>

Recently, a big hubbub was made in the national news about a family of five – the Craftons – who completed a circumnavigation aboard their sailboat!

To landlubbers who are unaware of the global cruising community, the Crafton family’s circumnavigation seemed so audacious a thing to attempt, that it must be singular, so unfamiliar, it must be irresponsible.

We know it is not.

The Craftons are just one of many, many families who cruise (or have cruised) far and wide aboard their sailboat-home. Saying so takes nothing away from the Crafton’s accomplishment. Far from it.

As the Craftons state, the choice to take a family long distance cruising is rarely made to achieve a specific goal (like a circumnavigation, crossing an ocean, or setting some record… although many do), but rather to provide one’s whole family with an exceptional learning opportunity partnered with years of quality family time.

Today, as we post family #6 –sv Momo and their family of four – on womenandcruising.com, we are halfway through the mounting of our own special project on Cruising Families.

Each family is different – different boat, different starting place, different obstacles, different story, but at the same time each is alike in that they feel the decision to take their kids cruising is one of the best they have ever made.

Our contributors were given a set of questions to answer based on topics most people wonder about, such as the challenges parents faced getting going; what ages are good for taking children to sea; how they handle health, education, safety and entertainment issues; and modifications they may have made to their boat.

Plus each family paints a picture of a typical day at anchor and a typical day on passage aboard their boat, and all answers are illustrated with terrific photographs.

If you are looking for encouragement in making a similar leap of commitment, you won’t find a better resource. And there are six more families to come!

So far we have posted contributions from:

1. Patricia and Thierry Echenard and their son Martin (8) of sv New Life (Basel, Switzerland);
2. Behan and Jaimie Gifford and their three children Niall (11), Mairen (8) and Siobhan (6) of sv Totem (Eagle Harbor, USA);
3. Emmanuelle and Gregory Hall and their three children Victor (10), Felix (8) and Cléa (4) of sv Merlin (Cape Town, South Africa);
4. Pam and Andy Wall, and their two children, Samantha and Jamie, aboard sv Kandarik (Ft. Lauderdale, USA);
5. Tania Aebi and her school-break 10-month voyage with her two teenage sons Nicholas and Sam aboard sv Shangri La (Corinth, USA);
6. and Michelle Elvy and Bernard Heise and their two daughters, Lola (8) and Janna (6) aboard sv Momo, (Newport, USA)
   

Feedback from readers on the web-page presentations of their stories has been enthusiastic, eg: “What an amazing post! I can’t wait to do this with my family!”

Contributors have received comments directly to their personal blogs. Relatives back home see that their sailing grandbabies are well-adjusted, that they aren’t alone, and that there are many other families sharing this same life.

A Canadian family that is working toward going cruising as a family has extended an invitation (and the use of their washing machine!) to one of our sailing families that mentioned they are headed their way.

Plus, several of the families in the same part of the world are making plans to meet and connect up!

Who knows what all will come from these families that have so enthusiastically shared their stories and their advice!

Links to the Sailing Families project

• 12 Questions to 12 Sailing Families (all families)
• #1 – New Life
• #2 – Totem
• #3 – Merlin
• #4 – Kandarik
• #5 – Shangri La
• #6 – Momo

Links to the Crafton family news stories

• Crafton family enjoys rare closeness after 7 years at sea (Washington Post)
• Crafton family of 5 now back on land in Maryland after sailing around world for 7 years (ABC News)

Do you have feedback for our sailing families? Are you cruising as a family now – or do you plan to?

Let us know. Email kathy@forcruisers.com or leave a comment below.

As a veteran dive instructor, Gwen has good ideas about how to prep your boat and yourselves for safely adding scuba and snorkeling to your voyage, and the Admirals [...]]]> We’ve just updated our collection of Gwen Hamlin’s Admirals’ Angle columns with the latest two being about cruisers’ relationship with the water that surrounds them.

As a veteran dive instructor, Gwen has good ideas about how to prep your boat and yourselves for safely adding scuba and snorkeling to your voyage, and the Admirals have contributed photos from around the world!

Diving In: Preparation & Gear There are two basic reasons cruisers jump over the side: because they want to or because they have to. The want-to department consists of snorkeling and scuba diving and hunting for seafood to spear or collect, but also … >> Read more
Water, Water Everywhere It’s an inescapable fact of cruising: we live surrounded by water. Often deep water. A landlubber might assume that everyone who chooses the cruising lifestyle has a natural affinity for water… >> Read more

Related articles (on this website)

• The Admiral’s Angle complete archives
• Diving In: Preparation & Gear (Admiral’s Angle column #47)
• Water, Water Everwhere (Admiral’s Angle Column #46)
• Fitness Resources (lists several scuba diving resources)
• Gwen took her SCUBA passion cruising (Women and Cruising blog)
• Laurie’s epic journey to conquer her hear of water (Women and Cruising blog)

Are swimming and diving a big part of your cruising life? Have you taken courses?
Do you carry dive gear aboard? Let us know.
Email kathy@forcruisers.com or leave a comment below.

Wow!

I just got my copy of Jimmy Cornell’s new World Cruising Destinations this last week – and I am in love with it!

I’ve carried Jimmy Cornell’s books aboard my boat ever since I bought my first copy of World Cruising Routes in the late ‘80s.

When I was finally lucky enough to have [...]]]>

Wow!

I just got my copy of Jimmy Cornell’s new World Cruising Destinations this last week – and I am in love with it!

I’ve carried Jimmy Cornell’s books aboard my boat ever since I bought my first copy of World Cruising Routes in the late ‘80s.

When I was finally lucky enough to have my boat and wonder “OK, now how do I get to these places?” World Cruising Routes had the answer for me, laying out all the major routes for any crossing I might want to make.

World Cruising Destinations is a great companion to World Cruising Routes.

What World Cruising Destinations does is give you the WHOLE world through a boater’s eye, and of course, not just any boater’s eye, but with Jimmy Cornell’s decades of experience. It covers every significant cruising destination around the world – 184 of them to be exact.

Here is some of the information included for each destination:

• Country profile
• Map
• Climate
• Formalities and Ports of Entry
• Facilities (for repair, provisioning, etc)
• Cruising guides
• Charter areas and operators
• Websites
• Flag, time zones, buoyage, currency, electricity, communications codes, etc.
• Plus, and best of all, an understanding of where and how you cruise that area.

But I guess one reason that I LOVE the book is that it’s beautiful, enticing even!

The photos are gorgeous, and the layout makes it fun to just pick up the book and read … about Croatia, Spain, Cuba, the Falklands, Antarctica – the places I’ve been, the places I would love to go to in my own boat, the places where I might like to charter, or take a friend up on an offer to visit.

With cruising guides, I’ve always had the attitude, “Okay, I’ve got the book, so I now I have to go there!”

Note

World Cruising Destinations replaces Cornell’s 2001 World Cruising Handbook (which I also carried aboard).

More information (external links)

• World Cruising Destinations: An Inspirational Guide to All Sailing Destinations at Amazon.com
• World Cruising Routes: 1000 Routes from the South Seas to the Arctic at Amazon.com

Also on Women and Cruising

• Admiral’s Angle #44 – An Admiral’s Reference Shelf
• Women and Cruising’s Cruising Women’s Bookstore

That is, have similar expectations, apprehensions and passions.

That fears they experience, the interests and dreams pursued and the skills obtained, would be generally the same.

So, I asked some questions.

In fact, I asked all the lady cruisers I had [...]]]>

I always thought that my fellow female cruisers experience the cruising lifestyle in a sort of similar way.

That is, have similar expectations, apprehensions and passions.

That fears they experience, the interests and dreams pursued and the skills obtained, would be generally the same.

So, I asked some questions.

In fact, I asked all the lady cruisers I had met during our 15 years cruising. In fact, I wrote a survey, resulting in a very detailed survey.

A raft of questions tumbled out.

What did I discover?

Well, I found that cruising women had a whole range of apprehensions and that some of these decreased over time but others surprisingly, increased.

I found that these women dealt with fears in diverse ways. I discovered a myriad of reasons why they started the adventure and many more that made them continue or discontinue.

There are some good ideas about their ideal boat and what made the journey all worthwhile. There are some interesting bits about relationships and, some wonderful tips for the beginning cruiser. I also received some insights into what happens next after you return from ‘the big trip’.

The Sample

Forty-two women responded .

Half the women came from Australia and New Zealand and the Northern Hemisphere was represented by Canada and USA with 36%, some from Europe and one from Hong Kong. Five boats cruised with their families.

What age group?

Three quarters are between 50 and 60 but of those remaining, over half were actually older with one over 70.

Two thirds of the ladies have sailed for over 15 years and over half of the whole group have sailed for over 20 years.

Most started sailing due to their partner being a sailor, a few couples started together and 6 women have sailed since they were kids. The idea to go cruising was initiated almost equally between ‘him’ alone and ‘as a couple.’ 47% to 40%.

Interestingly, about a quarter of women in the group suggested the idea first.

Once the idea of cruising blossomed, the enthusiasm of other established cruisers and, the practical information gleaned from books, gave most couples the confidence to make it a reality. Half of the group related that a single episode, like, sundowners on a friend’s boat, lit the spark.

Initial Plan

Nearly half the group had read enough and completed courses to want to do serious ocean cruising or a circumnavigation.

Most of the other half, including the family boats,preferred to be open to how they felt and let the journey evolve and — guess what — they all did some long distance ocean crossings with, three of the five family boats, circumnavigating.

Naturally the amount of time all this took varied with the infinite variations in people’s lives, but at least three quarters of the group have cruised for more than 5 years. A quarter of the group have been cruising for over 20 years. (They must have been younger when they started and loving the lifestyle.)

Over half the group changed their mind from their initial plan. This was mainly a result of, the journey just evolves; influences with the vagaries of weather; the people you meet; the places you love and the ever growing confidence and curiosity to venture that bit further.

The Boat

Now, let’s look at the boat.

Most people have had only one boat, three quarters being mono hulls, with the average length of all boats, between 30 and 40 feet.

99% of people were happy with their boats although the greatest ‘wish list’ change was having a larger living area which meant, extending the cockpit, adding dodgers and waterlines.

More efficient storage and multipurpose work spaces with increased ventilation are also very important.

Fanciful ‘nice to haves’ included:

• having all the labour saving mod cons e.g., washing machine, espresso bar,……..
• to unlimited money and water usage and,
• having more romantic candle–lit dinners under a star-flung sky with a zephyr breeze wafting the aroma of frangipani.

Cruising

The attraction

There was much agreement that the greatest attraction to this cruising lifestyle is the unique ability to stay in exotic places, experience diverse cultures whilst being able to stay in one’s own accommodation.

The peace and freedom to live like this is also unique.

However trying to keep contact with friends and family, whilst balancing a sea-land based existence was the biggest issue.

Attributes needed

Overwhelmingly, the kinds of attributes needed to happily cruise are firstly, adaptability to all those quick changes that occur.

These may include, changing destinations because of weather, flexibility in relation to socialising, jobs, touring and cultural challenges.

Secondly, having the initiative to maximise information for personal comfort or the task at hand is considered an important asset.

Being independent and having a sense of humour were also seen as important attributes.

Personal challenges and growth

Cruising can be about personal challenges and to this end many women stated that they experienced a positive growth in self awareness in relation to living in a restricted environment as well as their response to stress.

The development of skills, both mental and physical helped in “making me more courageous, physically stronger with an ‘I can do it’ attitude.”

What women learnt about their menfolk was an increased respect for their sailing skills in varied situations and their ability to operate under stress.

Big points for those partners who understood the ‘learning curve’ she was experiencing and his ability to ‘fix anything’.

What do you do all day?

For that question ’what do you do all day?’ ….

The favoured activity at anchor of course was socialising with other yachties and, touring ashore, while, reading was the number one activity on those long voyages.

The most enjoyable aspects on a long passage were being part of a team and sharing unique events of nature that occur at sea.

We all have some and will always remember them. Seasickness was the least enjoyable event, understandably so.

Fears

Any new activity invites an element of both fear and interest and the level of enjoyment depends upon a balance between the two.

By far the biggest fear was the lack of control of the elements, with high wind strengths, especially of 40+, however, with time and experience and weather planning, this fear definitely alleviated.

The fear that increased was that of losing contact with friends and family, as, the more time you are away the less contact you may have.

Of course, technology, with email etc can alleviate this to a certain extent.

Another big fear is your partner going overboard.

Using safety devices, e.g. a harness, is a good way of coping with this one and also practicing Man overboard drills.

In essence most of the fears alleviated with experience but remain in the background to be managed.

Personal Relationships

Regarding personal relationships on board, those that had issues with their partner worked out ways of working with the problem – except one who left the boat and changed partners!

Strategies that aided dealing with issues included, good relationship skills like, viewing yourselves as a team with technical and emotional responsibilities, having open discussions about any issue and viewing life with a tolerant, philosophical outlook.

The 5-minute ‘get angry and get over it’ strategy was a good one.

Post Long-term Cruising

The last group of questions referred to those long term cruisers who have returned home. There are 22 people in this group.

What comes next

Most had firm ideas about what they wanted to do. That is, stabilise the income by getting employment or looking at investments and real estate.

The aim of most of the group was then to continue cruising in some manner. This may be a more balanced compromise between part-time cruising and land travel, living and working lifestyle and grandchildren. Being closer to family was a driving force.

Immediately after returning, there exists an overriding feeling of the surreal, that they had actually journeyed so far, especially for those who had crossed many oceans.

There is a yearning for the community lifestyle of fellow cruisers and the need for a new challenge.

What they miss

Many miss the freedom of being outdoors and the diversity of cultures.

To satisfy this need, some have chosen to land travel in e.g., caravans, and have been particular where they choose to live, eg near water, open spaces, within a community but not in a big city.

Benefits of life ashore

Living ashore has great benefits in being able to pursue hobbies and interests.

Being able to have a good yarn to other yachties at the local club and keeping email and other contacts with cruising friends helps to process one’s cruising experiences.

Keeping the travel link also helps to avoid the consumer trap that pervades living on land.

One never fits back into the same life again nor would many want to.

Most find themselves more adaptable, curious and confident to take on whatever is happening now.

Their advice

Their advice to someone starting off is to:

• prepare well,
• know how to handle the boat,
• socialise and ask heaps of questions,
• cruise one step at a time,
• and most importantly, don’t aim too high or too expensively
• … so you can DO IT NOW.

This is a summary of the diversity of responses I received. If you have any comments or questions feel free to email.

Regards,
Karyn Ennor

About Karyn Ennor

I am 58 years old. I have been cruising for 16 years now and spent 12 years of that completing a circumnavigation.

I had never sailed before until I met my husband 20 years ago, but I have always enjoyed an outdoors life.

I learnt most of sailing skills from my very patient husband (Chris) and everything else from all the wonderful people we have met and the books that have been written.

My background is sociology and teaching English as a foreign language so, our cruising lifestyle provided fertile ground for all my interests.

We have been back in Australia for 3 years now and still live on our 34′ Catamaran MAGIC CARPET. After our years of cruising we have found it difficult to rejoin the suburban lifestyle and are long term Gypsies, I guess.

Chris and I have been writing articles about our journey and have been publishing in the Australian ‘Multihull World’ magazine for the last five years.

I find writing and attaching photographs of our travels a wonderful way to process our experiences. It makes it more real and we find we keep meeting our readership out on the water and so we get to share our experiences again, by answering their many questions and referring women to this website. It’s my version of ‘fame’ without the’ fortune’ but we feel pretty wealthy having so many friends and the time to spend with them.

Over the years, over coffee and a chat I have shared many ideas about cruising and I guess my idea for the ‘women’s survey’ came out of an interest in the commonality and diversity of experiences. There is also an interest to process and share/compare these experiences with other cruising women. I also wish to help those women who are just starting off to feel more confident about what they are doing.

Read also on this website

• The Admiral’s Angle complete archives (Karyn is one of Gwen’s Admirals.)

More info (external links)

• Multihull World Magazine, Australia

How have your experiences paralleled or differed from those of the women in Karyn’s survey? Let us know.
Email kathy@forcruisers.com or leave a comment below.

We call it 12 Questions to 12 Sailing Families, and the first contribution – the story of sv New Life and the Echenard Family of three  from Switzerland — is already in place.

Rich with [...]]]> We are so excited!  A project in the making for almost a year is finally coming together!

We call it 12 Questions to 12 Sailing Families, and the first contribution – the story of sv New Life and the Echenard Family of three  from Switzerland — is already in place.

Rich with detailed information about why and how this family chose to go cruising and the rewards their choice has brought them, the story is studded with terrific photographs that will melt your heart!

Each of the 12 families answer 12 questions about the challenges of choosing this life, what they like best and least, how they handle family back home, schooling, safety, laundry, etc. Plus, they offer advice for other families pondering this life.

This was a tremendous amount of work for the participating families, canvassing opinions from each family member, collecting or taking illustrative photographs, and then arranging to email all this material to us, which as we cruisers know is not always an easy feat from out-of-the-way destinations.

The result, however, is hugely inspiring and honest and a great read for families who are considering going sailing as a family.

Unlike our previous big projects –  What I like most about cruising and the Galley articles — for which we held back and mounted all the contributions as one huge piece, we have decided for the Families project, because each story is so special, to put up one family’s story at a time and let the project build.

Each week, we will be publishing another family until we have all 12 online.

Next in line is sv Totem – an American family of  five, that we will publish July 24. We anticipate publishing family number 3, a week later on July 31.

The message these families offer is exciting. As Gwen Hamlin says:

“That the cruising dream can encompass families leaves landlubbers shaking their heads in wonder and late-in-life cruisers saying, ‘If only I’d known it could be done!’  The reality is that families from all over the world and from all economic levels choose the cruising life as a special gift to their children not just for the experience but for the quality time it gives parents and children together.’”

An early reviewer of the project, Sally Erdle of the Caribbean Compass, says that these stories are inspiring even  for cruisers without kids:

“I think ‘child-free’ people will be intrigued for sure… You can’t help but think,  if they can do it with kids, we can surely do it without them!”

The work flow on this project is sometimes mind-boggling:

In addition to the families’ efforts (and remember, for several of them, English is not their first language!), there is a tremendous amount of design, editing, coordination of photos, proofing, coding, etc.

For example, one day last week Sylvie Branton, our web designer in Grenada, posted her first draft of a French-speaking family’s material online in our “work area”. I, in a Texas  recording studio to produce a Spanish for Cruisers audio, would call Gwen (in Florida) on Skype every time we took a break in the studio. Together, we would proof and edit  the family’s page, four eyes always being better than two.

We were under some pressure because we knew the family was planning to leave Tahiti that night for Tonga and would be on passage and out of email range for several weeks. So as soon as we finished, we sent our draft back to Sylvie in Grenada, who made a few more changes and forwarded it that evening to Tahiti, (we had a little help with the time zone changes) where the family reviewed the draft, and emailed us with their feedback. Then they set sail for Tonga!

Meanwhile, since we include about 30 photos for each family’s page, Sylvie is hard at work back in Grenada laying out photos and captions and communicating via a flurry of emails between her Blackberry and our computers.

Links to the Sailing Families project

• 12 Questions to 12 Sailing Families
• New Life’s answers to 12 questions about sailing as a family

We would explore Mexico by skimming lightly off our savings if we needed to, but the monthly interest that we received off our conservative investments would be the [...]]]> When our family of 4 began our exciting transition to the cruising life aboard our 35′ Cal Cruising Windfall in November 2008, we had everything planned out.

We would explore Mexico by skimming lightly off our savings if we needed to, but the monthly interest that we received off our conservative investments would be the bulk of our revenue… keeping us afloat financially.

It was so perfect!

And as Murphy’s Law so cruelly predicts… even before we cast the line off the last cleat on the dock, the dividends plummeted to such depressing lows that my husband and I all but went into cardiac arrest! The crash of 2008 had ruined our slick cruising plans for all of 2009.

We had sold our business and our home. We had dumped major dollars into Windfall finalizing her cruiser ready status. We were on the line. We had a decision to make. We had just enough money to go back and start over. Or, we could go for it… no matter how crazy… and fulfill the quest. We opted for the quest! All we needed was a new plan.

We had no real direction for creating a budget, and we really had difficulty locating other cruisers that reported their spending. If we found them they were couples, not families, living on Social Security or other benefits that were not available to us.

So we gathered as much information as we could and compiled a budget based on the only thing left…

… hope mixed with a little logic and some of our savings.

WINDFALL on the hook (Agua Verde, Mexico)

Our cruising budget was $1,500US per month (or $18,000 per year) for 4 people and one dog, not including emergencies. This was substantially less than we had spent as landlubbers, so we were very worried that this was an unrealistic goal.

With our “not-so-sure-if-we-can” budget looming over us, I began keeping track of all our spending… every penny. I kept a small notepad with me and documented all expenses… every grocery bill, every dinghy dock fee, every taco stand. Then, I transferred our data onto a spreadsheet.

Surprisingly, we spent less than $17,000 our first year! That included the cost for a new Engel freezer, a fresh bottom paint job, and 3 trips to the USA!

What did we do? Eat rice and beans?

No, not very often.

For the record, Jim and I had talked in depth about how our cruising experience was not just going to be “living on a boat”.

We wanted cultural stimulation and education. I wanted to sample local restaurants and search out regional art. We wanted our children (then ages 9 and 13) to be happy. We wanted them to embrace the joy of cruising and have fun while experiencing exposure to different customs.

How did we do it?

Well, as Mark Twain said, “All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.”

Our Top 10 Highest Cruising Expenses for 2009 (in US dollars) 1. Groceries “MEGA”, the name of this supermarket (Mazatlan, Mexico) This was our biggest itemized cost for the year. However, since we provisioned for food heavily at many mega supermarkets, the “grocery” expenses also include things like household items, pet food, beer & wine, school supplies, hardware, etc… For the year, we spent $5,924.73 (an average of $493.73 per month)… not bad for a crew with a ruthlessly hungry teenage boy aboard! And no, we are not vegetarian. We found the price of food to be slightly cheaper in Mexico than in the US, but other items such as clothing, shoes, and electronics were substantially more. We used the same principles for shopping as we did back home… we stocked up on items that were on sale. WINDFALL splashing with new paint (La Paz, Mexico) 2. Boat Equipment Things break or need replacing or you make discoveries of items that you MUST have, like our Engel freezer. Equipment for the cruising year 2009 ran us $1,793.99. 3. Boat Repairs Maintenance and repairs for Windfall ran us $1,487.14. This included hauling in/out and labor for new bottom paint. The paint was pre-purchased and we brought it along with us from the states. Carolyne’s 10th birthday and we were trapped for over a week due to weather. Had wonderful potluck instead! (San Francisquito, Mexico) 4. Eating Out Restaurants are expensive when you eat out a lot. We mostly cooked on board. Rather, we preferred attending the numerous potluck dinners with other cruisers that were so much fun! When we did eat at restaurants, we frequented establishments that were less touristy and ones that the locals recommended… usually delicious food at reasonable prices! We spent only $1,137.25 our first year, an average of less than $100 per month dining out. Jim’s thermal insulated cup is the only way to help keep the beer cold in the summertime (Gonzaga Bay, Mexico) 5. Libations The booze section was an after-thought as the costs were lumped in with groceries in the first six months. We are not big liquor drinkers, but we do like beer and wine. I began separating the alcohol from our groceries mid-year so that we could track our more “flexible” spending and tweak down our purchases to save money if necessary. The actual cost of beer and wine for six months was $489.62, so the estimated cost for the year is roughly $979.24. The average comes to $81.60 per month. 5. Boat Fuel No matter how hard you blow on the sails, sometimes the boat just won’t go!! $885.08 Sewing the jib at the old marina (Santa Rosalia, Mexico) 6. Marinas and Mooring Balls While many cruisers enjoy the benefits, amenities and conveniences of dock life, we rarely frequented marinas and instead anchored out as much as possible. We used our time wisely when we did venture into a slip and caught up on space hog or electricity sucking projects, like sewing dinghy chaps or building extra shelving in the lockers. We spent very little time our first year in marinas and so spent only $751.74. “An “auriga” is a popular form of transportation (Mazatlan, Mexico) 7. Transportation When walking won’t cut it, public transportation is the preferred method of getting around for our family. When that is not an option, taxis are relatively cheap in Mexico if you barter first. $650.83 8. Auto Maintenance & Gas We spent $631.42 in 2009 maintaining our economy car, not including insurance or tags. And although we drove it to the states two out of three times, it was too much hassle to store and keep the insurance up-to-date. We sold it at the end of the year. Tim nursing a sting ray wound (Bahia Los Angeles, Mexico) 9. Insurance This expense includes Mexican liability insurance for the boat and car, tags for the car, and life insurance. We opted not to renew our health insurance because it doubled in cost.. Instead, we were proactive with our annual wellness exams & dental cleanings, as Mexican healthcare costs are very reasonable. $606.24 10. Gifts These are the things we gave to our friends and family or to the kids for holidays or birthdays. Due to the economy and our shipping restrictions, we gave smaller, more thoughtful gifts that cost less and hopefully meant more. It sounds good anyway, doesn’t it? $409.28

Our top 10 cruising costs account for 88% of our total expenses for the first year.

I believe that our success was largely due to following one major principle: Be flexible!

You simply can’t plan for everything.

For example, we exceeded our monthly budget several months that year due to unexpected costs (like the time the wind generator blew up). For us, our focus was on the annual cost. This gave us more freedom and took the stress out of budgeting.

There are many cruisers out there cruising for less and there are plenty of them cruising for more. Spending options are simply a personal choice.

We have our complete 2009 cruising expenses published on our website at www.expaticus.com under the obvious… “Expenses”.

We are also planning to publish our 2010 expenses on a spreadsheet soon… which show what happens to your budget when you buy a bigger boat!

About Meri Faulkner

We left Colorado in June 2008 and began our cruising adventure aboard Windfall, a 35′ Cal Cruising sloop. As our two children grew, we felt it was time to upgrade to more comfortable living conditions.

We are currently cruising the Sea of Cortez in Mexico for our second summer aboard Hotspur, our 41′ Tartan TOCK.

Cruising has become such an addiction that my husband, Jim, and I are committed to doing it as long as we can. After hurricane season, we hope to head to El Salvador for the beginning of our Central American tour.

We homeschool our two swabs, Tim (15) & Carolyne (10). Other scallywags include our 13 year old pound-puppy, Bailey, and Bad Kitty, a stray kitten that adopted us in Mazatlan.

Come visit Hotspur and follow our family cruising adventures at www.expaticus.com.

Read also on this website

• Boat jobs: Pink or Blue? …Violet, Meri says
• A mom looks back on the decision to go cruising as a family

More info (external links)

• Meri Faulkner’s blog: www.expaticus.com

What are your bigggest cruising expenses? How do you manage your cruising budget?
Let us know.
Email kathy@forcruisers.com or leave a comment below.

Smart, motivated, and capable people own these craft:  doctors, lawyers, entrepreneurs, craftsmen, teachers, engineers, etc.

They’ve sacrificed and saved and dedicated significant resources for years to buy, berth, and maintain their boats, yet [...]]]> On even the most perfect weekend afternoon, we see only a handful of empty slips; most boats jostle restlessly in place like drunken tombstones.

Smart, motivated, and capable people own these craft:  doctors, lawyers, entrepreneurs, craftsmen, teachers, engineers, etc.

They’ve sacrificed and saved and dedicated significant resources for years to buy, berth, and maintain their boats, yet barely use (90% leave their slip less than six times per year) them and very, very few actually end up out there living The Cruising Dream.

Why?  Not enough time?  Life too crazy?  Priorities changed?  Out of money? I don’t buy it.

No, the real reason is that she is not on board.

While the registration may indicate joint ownership, this is most often (yes, there are many exceptions) his dream and this is his boat.  You can bet that if she shared his enthusiasm, motivation, and The Cruising Dream, the boat would leave the slip more often and travel further.

So why isn’t she on board with The Dream?

Here are the top 6 mistakes (there are plenty more) men make in sharing their sailing passion with the most important person in their life and the real reason the boat sits unused in its slip.

Getting ready to depart San Diego in 2003. Having every luxury, toy, and piece of “required” equipment on a complicated boat means endless organizing.

1.    Buying a boat to “get her into sailing”

Unless he is an extraordinarily competent captain and gifted teacher, she gets the wrong first impressions about sailing and never recovers.  It doesn’t take many mini-crises and raised voices to decide at a deep level that “this isn’t fun.”

2.    Selling her on a brochure

Many a sales pitch involves promises of white sandy beach and crystal-clear blue water.  Yes, you’ll find plenty of postcard-perfect destinations and endless free time out cruising, but often these expectations are not sufficient to sustain the sacrifice required. Because preparations usually take years, many women decide that the ends don’t justify the means.  “I’ll fly there, thank you…” Additionally, a “long vacation” aboard your own boat is not representative of the cruising lifestyle, and when and if expectations are not met, she decides that life ashore is more attractive.

3.    Using guilt or bullying tactics to convince her to go cruising

To get the hesitant or resistant wife on board, we men (forever little boys at heart) sometimes resort to juvenile yet powerful and manipulative tactics to convince our wives that we “hard-working” and committed husbands deserve their support; that she, “owes this to us.”

If she has been persuaded or forced to follow his dream without buying into the dream itself, she won’t ever take responsibility for the decision to go.  When times get tough-and they always do-he is back in the convincing and manipulating business, which eventually fails.

“I read more books in seven months than I had in the past 17 years.”

4.    Relegating her to passenger

Men who’ve bullied, used guilt, or otherwise convinced their wives to sacrifice their life ashore for his dream subsequently carry their own guilt and feel responsible for her comfort.

She appreciates him doing all the work and taking all responsibility in the beginning, but unless she participates and owns this endeavor, she gets bored.

Boredom is the single biggest threat to the cruising dream – more lethal than any storm.

5.    He lacks general competence and confidence with a large or complicated boat

Every luxury aboard Low Pressure, but the work [literally] never ends.

Cruising is not rocket science – most people can learn the basic skills: navigation, anchoring, sail handling, etc. in a relatively short period of time.

Maintaining the boat is something altogether different.  In his effort to assuage his guilt and make her comfortable, he equips the boat with every possible convenience but lacks the skills to operate and maintain these systems.  New or old, things break aboard a cruising boat and he turns cruising into “fixing the boat in exotic locations.”

While he is upside-down fumbling with another hack repair or pouring through manuals, she is frustrated that the two of you aren’t strolling that white sandy beach or swimming in the crystal-clear blue water.

6.    Going “all-in”

It may occasionally work at the poker table, but committing every resource to cruising (a lifestyle that hopeful cruisers have no experience with) is a gamble that women (in general) are much less comfortable making than men.

Studies have shown time and again that while women are only slightly more risk-averse than men, they are much more ambiguity averse.  While men are eager to head off for whatever adventure may come, women are much less comfortable with an unknown and unknowable future.  “Selling it all” for The Dream neglects a reality that women wisely hold firm: almost everyone does eventually come back.

Some dreams die a quick death and never leave their local waters while others run hard onto the rocks at some sun-bleached downwind destination, but the reasons (aside from uncontrollable life circumstances) are always the same: expectations are not reached, the crew fails to learn to work together, and/or the stress of the difficult times outweighs the joy of the good.

To avoid these uncharted hazards, it’s critical that:

1.    Both of you share The Cruising Dream BEFORE the cruising boat is purchased.

The financial commitment is second only to a home purchase for most couples and both materially and symbolically represents the foundation for buying into The Dream.

Our dog “Sugar” keeps us from taking any of this too seriously on the second cruise.

2.    Cruising is not simply an activity or experience, a passage or a destination; it’s a lifestyle.

The two of you must share the values embodied in that lifestyle before deciding to live The Dream: time and freedom over money and comfort, self-sufficiency over dependence, efficiency over waste, etc.

3.    The relationship must be on stable footing to begin with.

Cruising will galvanize a healthy relationship but ruin a tenuous one.  Communication must be equal, healthy and unrestricted.

“Traditional” 1950’s stereotypes revolt both of us, yet “pink” and “blue” jobs naturally evolve on board. Megan’s skills were invaluable on both cruises.

4. You share equal involvement and responsibility.

Yes, “pink and blue” jobs will likely evolve naturally, but both of you must be capable of operating the boat alone.  Competence = confidence = less stress.  Learning [separately] from a professional instructor is money well spent.

5.    One of you must be mechanically talented and proficient with every aspect of the boat.

Preferably, the cruising boat is very simple easy to maintain.

6.    Have a global or holistic plan for the cruise and after the cruise.

You likely won’t stick to it, but agreeing on it in advance underpins the shared commitment.  Additionally, it’s important to have a relief valve – have a fallback plan in place that doesn’t involve living in a storage unit.  This restores a sense of freedom and choice which all human beings need to live a happy and fulfilled life.

I learned all of these lessons the hard way.

Our first cruise ended less than a year into our five year plan.

Freedom! Anticipation and expectations before jumping into the unknown from Catalina Island in 2003.

I begged, cajoled, and convinced my wife to sell it all for endless fun in the tropical breeze, but that first cruise ended less than a year into our five year plan.

We sold our big, comfortable and complicated boat at a huge loss when expectations weren’t met and the hard times outweighed the good.

My wife swore, “I’m never buying another f*cking boat.”

We moved on with our lives.  It took some time, but in the following years, I stopped badgering her about boats, lovely destinations, and going cruising again.  Instead, together we slowly changed our values, shifting our focus from material wealth and accomplishment to time, presence, and health.  Our relationship grew, matured, and deepened.

A smaller, simpler boat means less work and more play.

Eventually we started talking about taking a sabbatical from our businesses.  A few months in India?  An RV trip to Central America?  Cycling across the US?

Together we agreed that a smaller, simpler boat for a shorter, less fully committed itinerary made sense for the life that we wanted to live.

We made a plan, had several fallback contingencies, and picked out the right boat together.

We had a wonderful second cruise.

The boat was simple and easy to handle and both of us were capable and confident single-handing.

Balance, in both life ashore and at sea. Sausalito, California in 2010.

Our itinerary was flexible and neither of us ever felt our freedom restricted by the other.  Instead of doing maintenance, we enjoyed the destinations.  The experience left us wanting more.

It’s so easy to forget that The Cruising Dream is not powered by boats, equipment, or destinations, but rather the dreamers themselves.

Making sure that the two of you in a loving relationship (that’s the reality of who you really find out there) are in tip-top seaworthy condition should be your number-one priority.

About Nick O’Kelly

Nick O’Kelly is an entrepreneur, photographer, writer and Associated Press Award winning journalist living in Sausalito, California.  His work has appeared on NBC and ABC television and USA Today.

His recent book GET HER ON BOARD – Secrets to Sharing The Cruising Dream is available at www.getheronboard.com, Amazon.com, as well as Barnes and Noble.

See also on this website

• Interesting Reading: “GET HER ON BOARD (Secrets to Sharing The Cruising Dream)”

More info (external links)

• Visit  the  Get Her On Board website

What advice do you have for men (or women) who want their partner to share their cruising dream?

Let us know.

Email kathy@forcruisers.com or leave a comment below.

Livia sends out a list of ten questions to cruisers who have cruised outside of their home country for at least two [...]]]> In April, Livia Gilstrap wrote Women and Cruising about the Interview with a Cruiser project that she recently started to ask the hundreds of questions she had as she prepared to go cruising.

Livia sends out a list of ten questions to cruisers who have cruised outside of their home country for at least two years and each week publishes an interview on her website.

Livia asked us to participate. Gwen Hamlin immediately got on the ball and answered her ten questions. (Perhaps this will inspire me to do the same…)

This week Livia published Gwen’s answers to her ten questions.

What did Livia ask Gwen? Here are a few of the questions:

• What (if anything) do you wish someone had told you before you started cruising?
• Share a piece of cruising etiquette
• How did you (or did you) gain offshore experience prior to leaving?
• When have you felt most in danger and what was the source?
• Where was your favorite place to visit and why?

You can read all ten questions and Gwen’s answers here: Tackless II answers 10 questions on the Interview With A Cruiser website.

Thanks Livia, for a great website! And thanks, Gwen for your thoughtful answers.

Articles by Gwen Hamlin on Women and Cruising:

• Gwen Hamlin’s Admirals Angle column
• Gwen’s posts for the Women and Cruising blog
• Gwen answers a reader’s question: What should I cook on my BVI charter?
• Gwen Hamlin’s advice on setting up your galley and cooking onboard
• Gwen took her SCUBA passion cruising
• What Gwen Hamlin likes most about cruising
• Gwen writes about refitting her galley

Articles by Livia Gilstrap on Women and Cruising:

• Livia Gilstrap writes: I am not an admiral!

More information

• Tackless II answers 10 questions on the Interview with a Cruiser website
• Interview With A Cruiser website
• Livia’s blog – sv Estrellita 5.10b
• Gwen’s website of their travels: www.thetwocaptains.com

What questions would you like answered?

What websites help you prepare for cruising?

Leave a comment below or email us: kathy@forcruisers.com

Through a sequence of connections it would take a page to recount, I’ve come back in touch with a cruiser I first met in a group of West Coast sailors getting ready to leave for the South Pacific from Puerto Vallarta back in 2003.  

A series of maintenance problems cropped up and kept Nick and his [...]]]>  

Through a sequence of connections it would take a page to recount, I’ve come back in touch with a cruiser I first met in a group of West Coast sailors getting ready to leave for the South Pacific from Puerto Vallarta back in 2003.  

A series of maintenance problems cropped up and kept Nick and his wife from departing with the rest of us.  

The fallout from those problems and the disappointment at the interruption ended up unraveling their cruising plan  to the point that they sold the boat and got out. 

That was almost six years ago. 

What went wrong for them….and how did they fix it? 

Nick has since spent a lot of time thinking this all through and realized most if all of it came back on him.  With the clarity of hindsight, Nick picked through the debris of his dream and identified a whole series of mistakes that he made that he has since discovered are made rather blithely by many men whose dreams are still tied to the dock. 

Out of this excavation, Nick has shaped a whole new strategy for men who want to take off cruising and have their wives come willingly with them.  It’s based on the revolutionary idea that it’s the men who have to do some self-examination and adaptive thinking, even projection into their wives’ point on view….in a word change! 

The book that resulted from this effort – GET HER ON BOARD – is an amazingly holistic approach to bringing the cruising dream to fruition.  Written in a style that should communicate well to men, Nick is surprised that sales demographics suggest that many of his book’s buyers are women! 

I read GET HER ON BOARD and thought aHah! “How do I get Don to read this!”  This is not just for men trying to figure out how to get their partners to buy into their dream, it should be read by every man who wants a fuller richer life with the women they’ve pledged their lives to. And if they end up getting the dream off the dock and pointed toward a distant horizon, all the better.

See also on this website

• Interesting Reading: 6 Mistakes men make in sharing their sailing passion (Lessons I learned the hard way)

More info (external links)

• “GET HER ON BOARD – Secrets to Sharing The Cruising Dream” is available at www.getheronboard.com, Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble.
• Visit the “Get Her On Board” blog