Blog » Livia Gilstrap http://www.womenandcruising.com/blog Women cruisers share their experiences, info and news Mon, 23 Oct 2017 21:55:47 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=3.8.41 What I have learned: Choose your mistakes http://www.womenandcruising.com/blog/2012/03/livia-gilstrap-choose-your-mistakes/ http://www.womenandcruising.com/blog/2012/03/livia-gilstrap-choose-your-mistakes/#comments Tue, 20 Mar 2012 02:58:29 +0000 http://www.womenandcruising.com/blog/?p=5965 All cruisers are trying to find the sweet spot of “exactly enough” — exactly enough spares, exactly enough gear, exactly enough provisions, exactly enough planning — but we all know, even as we strive, that our careful attempts at finding “exactly enough” are made in changing conditions based on incomplete knowledge and ...Read more]]> Exactly enough provisions? Buying exactly enough provisions?

All cruisers are trying to find the sweet spot of “exactly enough” — exactly enough spares, exactly enough gear, exactly enough provisions, exactly enough planning — but we all know, even as we strive, that our careful attempts at finding “exactly enough” are made in changing conditions based on incomplete knowledge and are bound to miss the mark regularly.

With the knowledge that I am going to make mistakes, I have come to the state of mind where I choose, in advance, which type of mistakes I am going to make. In most scenarios there is one type of mistake that will drive me crazy more than another type of mistake. When I come across a dilemma, in which I would normally be trying to figure out exactly the correct solution, I play out the worst case scenarios.

Which will drive me bananas faster: locating, buying and stowing spare parts for my fridge, or turning it off if it breaks? Will I be more irritated if I run out of food, or if I have too much and some goes to waste? Will I be more angry at the world if I carefully plan out all of the documents I need to clear into a country and find that everything has changed or if I arrive without what I need and have to run around searching for a copy machine?

Choosing your mistakes may sound negative, but I find it freeing. If I chose the mistake of buying too much food because I knew that running out would drive me more crazy, then I feel better about having to throw out some food.

Instead of feeling as if I made an error in buying “exactly enough”, I know I made a conscious choice of the lesser of two evils.

I make the same number of mistakes but I make the kind of mistakes I can live with. Know thyself.

About Livia Gilstrap


Livia found the transition from full time work as a professor to full time work preparing a boat to cruise frighteningly easy but sorely misses having minions.

She and her husband Carol have been cruising for more than 600 days aboard their 35′ Wauquiez Pretorien Estrellita and will be heading into the South Pacific from Mexico in a few weeks. You can read more about that unfolding adventure on their cruising blog (thegiddyupplan.blogspot.com).

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]]> http://www.womenandcruising.com/blog/2012/03/livia-gilstrap-choose-your-mistakes/feed/ 0 I am not an Admiral! http://www.womenandcruising.com/blog/2010/05/i-am-not-an-admiral/ http://www.womenandcruising.com/blog/2010/05/i-am-not-an-admiral/#comments Thu, 27 May 2010 16:04:03 +0000 http://www.womenandcruising.com/blog/?p=2840 I am not an Admiral. I am a co-captain, a sailor, a cruiser, a wife, and sometimes a wench, but I am not an Admiral.

The word is a title of importance. It denotes authority, oversight and ultimate responsibility for a fleet.

The term has historical context which also imbues it with power. There are many Admirals ...Read more]]> Livia GilstrapI am not an Admiral. I am a co-captain, a sailor, a cruiser, a wife, and sometimes a wench, but I am not an Admiral.

The word is a title of importance. It denotes authority, oversight and ultimate responsibility for a fleet.

The term has historical context which also imbues it with power. There are many Admirals in the sailing community who were pioneers simply because they, as women, left home and hearth for the open sea.

These are Admirals whose vivid accounts allowed me to be able to picture myself at sea, whose articles I have read as a dreamer while preparing to cruise, and I owe them a debt of gratitude. Lin Pardey called herself the “paperwork captain” and it is difficult to think of a better more burly cruising role model.

So what is it about being called “the Admiral” that rubs so many female cruisers the wrong way?

Aerial photo of Livia Gilstrap single-handing
Aerial photo of me single handing

I know that for me it is not because I stand in judgment of others who proudly call themselves Admiral. Not every crew member needs to play captain. I respect the dynamics that other couples find effective for them. I think that it is important to be comfortable with where and who you are regardless of how other people view things.

If the man in a cruising couple is the captain and the woman fills the first mate or Admiral role, the real test of whether it works is whether they are able to happily continue cruising. If so, by definition it works for them and nothing anyone else says matters.

My feelings about being called an Admiral are also not solely a rejection of the gender roles that have become intrinsically connected to the term in the cruising community.

I have no problem doing “pink” jobs. I love to cook, and I am the one who keeps (at least vague) track of what provisions we have on the boat. When a bolt refuses to come off or something particularly heavy needs to be hauled, I look to my husband because he is physically stronger.

We do not try to split things 50-50 in some artificial egalitarian manner and instead work to our strengths. I chose the place mats and curtains and also perform much of the engine maintenance. My husband is the master of all things electrical, all things rigging and makes beautiful crepes. We both truly love sailing.

What I reject about being called an Admiral is the assumption that because I have ovaries I am one. Like most of the cruising breed, male or female, what I resist is being placed inside a box, to be limited.

Of course, ultimately, no one can place me in a box if I do not choose to be placed and that is why when someone says:

“And you must be the Admiral.”

I smile and with a wink and a nudge say: “Actually, that is the Reverend Doctor Captain Livia to you“.

About Livia Gilstrap

Livia found the transition from full time work as a professor to full time work preparing a boat to cruise frighteningly easy but sorely misses having minions.

In 18 days, she begins her own cruise with her husband Carol aboard their 35′ Wauquiez Pretorien Estrellita and she hopes her transition to full time cruising will be as smooth. You can read more about that unfolding adventure on their cruising blog.

After 14 years of the empirical study of human behavior, Livia couldn’t seem to stop collecting data and has founded a new resource for dreamers, those actively preparing to cruise, and cruisers themselves called The Interview With A Cruiser Project. Every week she publishes a 10 question interview with someone who has cruised outside of their home country for more than two years. Read the interviews, volunteer to be interviewed or suggest interviewees at the website.

She is a regular reader and admirer of Gwen Hamlin’s “The Admiral’s Angle” and will be publishing an interview with Gwen on the IWAC site on June 28th, 2010.

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What labels or titles define your role for you on your boat? Leave a comment below or email us: kathy@forcruisers.com

The Interview With A Cruiser Project
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