Comments on: 6 Mistakes men make in sharing their sailing passion (Lessons I learned the hard way)

By: Brenda Greene

Brenda Greene — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 23:41:19 +0000

I couldn’t agree with you more, Nick, particularly on part 4, “You share equal involvement and responsibility.” Fortunately my husband understands and lives by your findings. We sail as a team. We are new, but my husband purposefully has us switch up roles. This arrangement has served us well on many fronts. First of all, for example, when I am the one adjusting the mainsail and jib, I start playing around to find the best combination. What better way to learn. I wouldn’t get that level of understanding from watching. Secondly, when he takes on a role that I have typically taken, e.g. raising the anchor, he understands better when I say, “It is very hard to put the retaining pin through when securing the anchor.” He can then come up with a solution that works. Thirdly, I understand better the decisions he makes when I know how things work. Fourthly, when Mike knows he can hand the tiller over to me, it affords him some “down time”. He has even been known to enjoy the ride up on the bow. How can I deny him that privilege? Finally, and most importantly, being able to trade roles is a safety issue (and security as well). I know that if something happens to Mike, I can man the boat until we can get help.

Knowing that Mike trusts me and respects me enough to let me try , assures me that he values my feelings and my self-worth — two very important ingredients in a lasting relationship.

Thanks for addressing this issue. We have seen others who don’t share this view. Seems like a time bomb waiting to explode.

By: Ruth Allen

Ruth Allen — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 12:46:25 +0000

Great honest article. Certainly both male and femaile sailors will appreciate your experience and advice. I see so many boats that seem to only have women aboard when they are not travelling. This is great if this was always the plan.
Unfortunately I have all too often observed behavior of a sort that would have driven me off the boat, if it had ever happened to me. Some perfectly nice folks seem to turn into yelling, screaming inconsiderate folks when they are aboard. I have to wonder if they are insecure about their skills, or if they believe this is what a “Captain” does.
In any case couples seem to best when they are true partners in this endeavour as in many other.
Fair Winds
Ruth
S.V. Witchcraft

By: Sam Bartlett

Sam Bartlett — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 10:15:34 +0000

I love this article, you touch on loads of valid points, Nick and your honesty is refreshing.

As a female skipper sailing in the Caribbean, I can honestly say that the cruising scene has a large contingent of male solo sailors….probably wishing they’d learned some of the lessons you have!

By: Debbie Leisure

Debbie Leisure — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 20:39:27 +0000

Great article. This is an article that every man who wants his partner to go sailing should certainly read. Nick touched on most of the important issues that most couples have to deal with. Good luck and safe sailing.